There’s no blueprint for grief – no single right way to feel or process the overwhelming emotions that come with death. But there are healthy ways to move through the pain and begin healing.
Finding what works for you isn’t about “getting over it,” but learning how to live with the loss in a way that brings peace and connection to the one you’ve lost.
Here are some practical strategies to help you cope while still protecting your mental and emotional well-being.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve
One of the most important things you can do is allow yourself to grieve – fully and unapologetically. That might sound obvious, but many people rush to “be okay” for the sake of others. Maybe you feel pressure to stay strong for your kids, your partner, or your coworkers. But holding it all in only delays the healing process.
Grief is messy, and it doesn’t follow a straight path. Some days will feel normal, while others may hit you out of nowhere. That’s okay. You’re allowed to cry, rest, and take space. You don’t have to explain or justify how you’re feeling. Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone, and whatever your version looks like is understandable.
2. Find Your People
When you’re grieving, isolation can feel like both a comfort and a trap. While it’s completely normal to want alone time, leaning on others can be one of the healthiest things you do.
Reach out to people you trust and who understand what you’re going through. You don’t have to say the right words or have the perfect conversation. Sometimes just being around people who care can bring comfort.
If you’re not sure how to ask for help, try something simple like, “I’m struggling right now, and I don’t know what I need, but I could use someone to talk to.” Most people want to be there for you. You just have to let them and give them grace to fumble through things with you.
3. Create a Meaningful Memorial
Memorialization is a powerful part of healing. It allows you to create something tangible that honors the memory of your loved one, which can be especially helpful when the loss still feels abstract or unreal.
You might plant a tree, start a scrapbook, frame a photo, or create a small corner of your home with reminders of them. Some people write letters to the person they lost. Others light a candle every year on their birthday. It all depends on your personality and what you think will resonate most with you.
Some people find comfort in choosing a meaningful cremation urn or keepsake that represents who their loved one was or something they were especially ionate about.
“Memories are funny things. The more you cultivate them, the more vividly they stick around,” says Susan Fraser, founder of In the Light Urns. “In working with thousands of families who have suffered loss over the years, we’ve found that the right cremation urn can help strengthen and those warm memories.”
When done with intention, memorials can turn your sorrow into something that’s almost sacred. It won’t eliminate all of the pain, but it will give you something physical to look at and .
4. Stick to a Routine
Grief can be a bit disorienting. In the early days and weeks, you might forget to do basic things like eat or shower. Time has a way of slipping away without realizing it. And while a certain level of flexibility is important, routines have a way of keeping you grounded.
Try to maintain a few simple habits, like waking up at the same time each day, taking a walk, eating regular meals, journaling, etc. These anchor points can help you regain a sense of control.
5. Prioritize Self-Care
Grief takes a physical toll. You might feel exhausted, tense, or sick more often than usual. That’s because grief isn’t just emotional – it’s physiological. So your body needs extra care.
Focus on the basics first: sleep, hydration, movement, and nutrition. Even small acts of self-care can help. A hot shower, stretching for ten minutes, sitting in the sun, or reading a comforting book can offer micro-moments of relief.
6. Engage in Rituals That Bring You Peace
Rituals can offer healing, even if they’re quiet or simple. They help you process your emotions in a way that feels safe and familiar.
That could mean lighting a candle every night, going on a walk where you think about the person, or cooking a meal they used to love. If faith is part of your life, prayer or meditation can be a grounding ritual. If it’s not, just creating a moment of intentional reflection each day can work wonders.
7. Know When to Seek Professional Help
Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the weight of grief feels unbearable. If you find that your sadness is turning into prolonged depression, or you’re having trouble functioning day-to-day, it may be time to reach out for professional . Therapists who are trained in grief counseling can help you make sense of your emotions.
Adding it All Up
The loss of a loved one is always going to be difficult, and grieving is actually a healthy part of the healing process.
However, grief doesn’t have to wreck your life for long periods of time. By identifying and implementing healthy ways to deal with loss, you can reclaim some emotional and mental freedom in your life.
